let's try this again

i stopped writing. i was in a spot for quite some time when my thoughts seemed muddled and not processed enough to be written.

i am ready to try this again. maybe.

these past few months i have had several conversations with people about the unfairness of life. i have thought long and hard about things i have thought to be unfair. and i have tried to cheer myself up by thinking about all the unfair things happening around the world that seem a bit less fair than the unfair things happening to me.

here is the deal. i suppose the way it ought to work is to just not compare. not compare myself to your good stuff or your bad stuff either. in comparing myself to your good stuff my own lack is revealed and in comparing myself to your bad stuff my struggle may be minimized.

i woke up this morning. i did life today. and some of it was awesome and some of it was not awesome at all. and that's okay. and i can pretend that some of it was crappy because i haven't quite captured the dream life yet. but i believe that there are certainly some crappy moments for those people working in their dream jobs, or living in their dream houses, or driving their dream cars.

maybe instead of asking what how i can make this life less unfair for me - i could be asking different questions . . .

how am i making more really good moments? how am i loving people right in the middle of the unfairness? is this crappy moment really unfair or is it my own perspective on fairness