time

i have a lot of time on my hands these days. and i am easing into that. i am being reminded that i am not what i do. it's a very difficult thing for me to grasp.

one thing that i am loving is the time i get to spend with my new husband. we have an amazing life.

we have been reading a lot lately - something we both enjoy. it seems like once i am able to relax enough to read for fun again i just can't get enough of it. yesterday i needed something poetic - something hopeful. i found this:

In Earthly Good: Reflections of Life and God, Martha Sterne writes:
Because it is hard to see God, find God, know God, love God, when we get busy posing like the strongest, richest, happiest people who ever walked. Because it’s just terribly hard to connect with God when we don’t need God, it’s just a terrible curse to suffer from the awful soul-killing delusion of self-sufficiency.All of us know the word “woe” from the inside. The woes are part of the truth of what it means to be human. Yen and yang, blessing and curse, heartbreak and heart open, life and death. We know that. And yet and still we people with much riches, much laughter, much power, we say “cheese” so well. We, more than poor people, can delude ourselves. So, for Christ’s sake, remember that self-sufficiency is not the truth of us, lest we forget our need for the One who made us and gives us every breath.

i like the words but i love the reminder. i can't do this on my own. but i really don't have to keep trying. this is a good rest.